The Bad Dater's Handbook
by Sumomo14
Summary: Bella Swan has trouble with dates; they're always bad...especially since her Bestfriend/room-mate, Alice, always sets her up for bad blind dates. But is there hope for Bella yet? Maybe in the form of a green eyed, bronze haired hotty. Canon couples, AU,
1. Chapter 1

**I am so sorry that I've been gone so long!!! But this is the fruits of my effort...hope you enjoy it, and thank all you wonderful reviewers!! I love you guys!!! Also, I've really want to do a collaboration story, so if you're interested, please contacts me**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Handbook  
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Chapter One: Never, and I repeat NEVER, let the guy choose the setting

The Bad Dater's Handbook

_Bella Swan:_

I stared blankly at the guy in front of me, attempting to drown out his constant chatter. I had been forced into yet another date by Alice, this time the guy's name was Mike Newton, and he has to be the dullest person on the face of the planet. He had been droning on about his life for the past hour, like I actually cared about what his favorite food when he was five was, it's only a first – and last – date for crying out loud!

He had dragged me to some cheap restaurant with chipped walls, and beer nuts all over the floor. I almost gagged when I walked inside because of the putrid smell of stale French fries. This was just another straw to add to the camel's back. When we had first stepped inside, there were few people eating here – and I honestly couldn't blame them – most were truckers on their way out anyways. When Mike had lead me to a table, not even pausing his sentence might I add, and directed me to sit down I almost laughed. He had to be kidding me! But none the less, I sat down at the rusty table and so began our night.

"So when I finish college I'll have my blah, blah, blah…" This dude would not give it a rest. He wouldn't let me talk at all! So I let him continue talking about himself, letting him think that I actually gave a flying flip about what he wanted to be when he got out of college.

I swear I haven't spoken a word since he had picked me up from my apartment doorstep. I may seem like I'm complaining, and not taking what I'm given, but honestly, if you caught a look at this guy, you'd be complaining just as much as I am, maybe even more. Shall I review?

He picked me up at my apartment and hasn't let me speak a word so far – Not even 'Hello'!

He took me to a _Truck Stop_ for a date!

And, C) His cologne is so strong I have to hold my breath to be within three feet of him, and right now I'm about to choke/ suffocate since he keeps trying to make a move which is seriously wafting it in my direction.

This was always my luck; I was prone to being bad in relationships. I was a bad dater; I couldn't hold a steady relationship to save my life. Because I was so prone to bad relationships, my roommate, Alice, took this as an excuse to take me under her wing and help me find a good boyfriend though the effort had been futile.

I lived in Forks, Washington up until it was time to go to college, at that point, I moved to Portland, Oregon to attend PSU which is where I met Alice, during our freshman year, we were now both Juniors in college and well on our way to getting a bachelor's degree

"I have a full scholarship to blah, blah, blah…"

I just wanted to jump to my feet and scream 'shut up!' in this bozo's face! He was honestly extremely annoying, and I had been having a bad day since the moment I found out that Alice was springing this on me.

I almost jumped up and hugged the waitress when she appeared with the bill. She was staring at him with longing eyes and flipped a lock of curly hair behind her ear before saying sweetly;

"Are you guys ready to go?" She asked him. Trust me, she could have him.

"Sure." He smiled at her and slipped her a twenty, and winked at her. It didn't bother me in the slightest.

I stood up hastily, and pushed the rusted chair in towards the table, causing it to screech against the floor, and began walking towards the door as quickly as I could.

When he caught up to me he took my hand, and I simultaneously took it back, tucking it into the pocket of my thick jacket since it was October.

"I had a great time tonight." He attempted to sound seductive but all it made me want to do was barf.

"Mmhm…" I said absently, not really paying attention anymore. He started to lead me to his car, but I stopped in the middle of the parking lot, and he turned to face me, his expression one of confusion.

"Um, I think I'm going to walk home…" I said turning in the direction of the sidewalk I started walking away, crossing my arms on my chest.

"Bella, Wait!" Mike shouted after me desperately, only causing me to walk faster.

I successfully made it all the way back to my apartment, only to find it completely empty of anyone.

I sighed and plopped down on the black leather couch, only to stand up again when I saw a pizza box on the counter. I walked over to it slowly, my muscles tired from the tense position they had been in the whole night, and from the long walk back to my apartment.

When I finally reached the counter, I saw a note lying horizontally across the pizza box with Alice's handwriting scrawled across it, in what looked like a hurry.

_With Jasper, be back later, don't wait up! _

_There's some left over pizza (Duh) if you want any._

_Hope your date went okay! _

_--Alice =)_

I sighed and opted for some Rocky Road ice-cream to ease my troubles, rather then the already-cold-pizza. I slipped into a pair of worn, comfortable sweats, and plopped down on the couch again.

I sighed when the Rocky Road hit my taste buds, already making me feel better. I glanced around me trying to locate the remote without getting up, and was in luck, it was sitting haphazardly at my feet. I twitch my foot in the right direction to kick it close enough to reach and flipped on the TV.

Seeing as there was absolutely nothing on, I dialed up to company to pay for a Pay-Per-View movie.

When the movie came on, I grimaced when I found that it was a romance movie, just the thing that I needed to get over my romance problems, I thought sarcastically. I stared at the love stricken actors on the screen and glared at them. How could they have such a perfect relationship so effortlessly, while over here in reality I was working my butt off trying to find a decent guy, at the age of twenty!

I sighed and leaned my head back on the pillow behind me, absently wondering why I was the only one left of my friends that didn't have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend. Heck, I wouldn't put it past Rosalie and Emmett to go ahead and tie the knot, they'd been going out for what seemed like forever.

I turned back to the TV and stared at the actors with mixed emotions, longing and hate.

And to think, I had even hoped for tonight's date to be worth something and it still didn't amount to anything. I wasn't _ever_ letting Alice set me up for a blind date ever again.

That was the last thought that went through my mind before I slipped into unconsciousness.

I woke with a start the next morning to the sound of the door opening, my back aching slightly from the couch. I started panicking, until I realized that it was only Alice, just coming in from her night out with Jasper.

"Have a good night?" I asked slyly taking in her slightly disheveled clothes, and her usually spiky hair tousled slightly.

She grinned back at me, and I sat fully up on the couch awaiting her reply. She put her hands on her hips mockingly and grinned widely;

"What's it to ya?"

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	2. Chapter 2

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**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Handbook  
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Chapter Two: Sympathy food is welcome.

The Bad Dater's Handbook:

_Bella Swan:_

I snickered at her and she spared me one more withering glance before heading to her room to change into something less wrinkled.

I decided that I might as well start my day off, seeing as I wasn't getting back to sleep anytime soon, and I hopped off the couch and started walking towards the kitchen to make some muffins.

Alice couldn't get enough of muffins, they were currently her favorite breakfast food, which I was positive would change around next week, Alice was just like that, she couldn't be positive about anything, that is except Jasper whom she'd been seeing since the tenth grade.

I sighed, there I go again talking about romance of some sort, could I just have one minute where I'm not moping about the apartment, depressed because I haven't found the right guy for me?

I was just sitting the uncooked muffins in the already heated oven when Alice appeared from the bathroom, her normal bubbly self.

"Mmm, muffins!" She exclaimed happily. I stared at her dumbfounded. How could she be this _awake_ at this time? I was just getting over the fact that it was nine o'clock in the morning on Saturday, the one day of the week where I have absolutely nothing to do _except_ sleep…and I was up already.

"What?" She asked when she caught me staring at her. "What'd I do?" she looked genuinely perplexed and I just laughed at her.

She huffed at me and smacked my arm, and I put on a look of false hurt.

"Ya know Alice that really hurts that you would attempt to hurt me…" I tried to look serious but it failed after I caught the look on Alice's face, and I broke out into a large grin.

I timer on the oven went off and I retrieved the muffins after grabbing a rag out of a nearby drawer so I wouldn't get burned by the hot tin.

In a flash, Alice had a plate out, already for me to set the muffins on; she was practically vibrating in anticipation.

"Alice."

"What?" she grinned happily completely ignoring me, only having eyes for the pastry in my hands.

"Calm thy self pixie." I said loudly, that put an end to her bouncing, and she just glared at me because I had – once again – made fun of her height by calling her a pixie, which I know she hates…which is exactly why I call her that.

"Just dish out the muffins woman!"

I snickered and finally placed them all on the plate, which she proceed to greedily snatch away from the counter and leave me to do the dishes without so much as a 'thanks'.

After I had cleaned up the mess of a kitchen, I grabbed my blue I-pod and threw on some track clothes and started walking out of the building, planning on going for a jog. I had switched on some Linkin Park, since I had discovered angry music helps you run better, and was jamming out to 'Shadow of the Day' when I came across an unbelievably gorgeous guy sitting on a bench in the park.

I automatically slowed down some to get a better view of him, and just as I was passing him, he looked up and my brown eyes meet emerald orbs. I came to a complete halt, unable to look away from his smoldering gaze and just stood there, staring at him.

He had to be the number one, most gorgeous guy I had ever laid eyes on. He had hopelessly messy bronze hair, and an unbelievable set of emerald green eyes. He was just sitting there. Staring at me? His clothes were crisp and clean, he looked like he could be a Abercrombie model if he felt like it. I felt like my heart might have burst from my chest, it was beating so hard. I stopped breathing when he flashed me a crooked smile…But something about his expression bothered me. It was like he was pained, like he was deeply upset about something…

After two minutes of just staring at each other, I snapped out of it and smiled at him apologetically before sprinting away from the bronze haired beauty. He probably had a girlfriend. Those types of guys always did. But I couldn't stop myself from resenting the girl I had never met. That was just my luck, to meet a undeniably hot guy in the park, and to sprint away from him in a hurry without some much as a name to call him.

'Stupid! Stupid!' I thought, 'Why didn't you go talk to him? Okay, I need to get a hold of myself; he's just a guy, an unbelievably hot guy, with smoldering green eyes, and hot hair. Stop!'

I forced myself to forget about him, and just go on with my day. I'd probably never see him again anyway.

Even though it was the truth, I couldn't stop myself from hoping that I might see him again, neither could I stop the ache in my heart at the thought of not _ever_ seeing him again. I sighed; I needed to get the mystery hunk out of my brain already!

I tried – in vain—to get the mystery guy out of my head, but no matter how hard I tried, my mind kept wandering back to that morning in the park, where he had gazed into my eyes, like he was seeing my soul. My mind didn't want to forget him, neither did my heart. I found myself wanting to know more about him, like what his name was, was in her in school, what did he want to do?

I had never felt this way about _anyone_ before in my whole life. And no matter how hard my brain didn't want to, I eventually forced myself to stop thinking about him by snuggling up in my room with a cup of coffee, and a book that I had just received for a birthday present and had yet to finish.

It was a romance book, naturally, and was the reining leader on the New York Times Bestseller's List. The book was odd, but captivating in the most alluring ways. I wanted to put it down, but never stop reading it at the same time, it was a vampire love story called Twilight, and honestly the idea of the book scared me at first, but it was genius, complete literary genius. I salute the author, wherever she may be.

I eventually fell asleep while readings, finding it hard to keep my eyes open with the wonderful book lulling me to sleep with its dreamlike story.

I dreamed about the mystery man that night, but it was odd, because I was sitting in a cafeteria at a high school, it seemed. I looked all over the room, trying to figure out if there was anyone I knew in the room besides just a lot of strangers.

Sometime during my search, my brown eyes met the gaze of the man, his green eyes scorching as always, bearing into my soul. I was about to get up to go sit next to him, when suddenly, his eyes turned to a menacing black color, and all of a sudden, he bared his teeth at me, and lanced across the room towards me.

I sat up quickly in the chair, sweat running down my face, I could feel pieces of hair stuck to my face, and I brushed them away quickly while glancing around the room in a wild craze. Suddenly I stood up and walked over to Alice's room.

"Alice?" I asked hesitantly, poking her sides. "Alice!" I hissed quietly when she didn't wake up.

"Hmm?" She groaned, her head still stuck in her pillow, I inwardly groaned at what I was about to say, knowing that I would sound like a fool.

"Can I sleep in her tonight, I had a nightmare."

She turned her head slightly so I could see the side of her face.

"Please tell me I'm not dreaming."

"Shut up and scoot over." I said reluctantly, shoving her over to the other side of the bed, and lying down next to her. I heard her snickering quietly and I rolled over so my back was facing her.

"_Goodnight _Alice…"

"Goodnight Bella…" she giggled out and then decided to be merciful, and let it go, snuggling down under the blanket. After I was sure that she was asleep, I finally allowed myself to relax and slip off into unconsciousness.

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	3. Chapter 3

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**Chapter Three, hope you guys like it.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Handbook**

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**Chapter three: Bad break-ups can be sticky

The Bad Dater's Handbook

_Edward Cullen:_

I sighed darkly and ran a hand over my face, reaching up and pulling at my bronze colored hair.

_Tanya_

Just the thought of that name made my heart ache, and my breathing come to a shaky halt.

Tanya had been my life, my confidante, and my lover. She had betrayed me, choosing to cheat on me with the next door neighbor. I had walked in on them on my way over to her house to check on her…supposedly she had been _sick_. Sick of me I bet. I had ended our eight year relationship immediately, no matter how much it hurt to let her go. She had been _everything_ to me; we were even planning to get married as soon as we were out of college.

I sighed once and decided to go to the park, where Tanya and I had first met, no matter how masochist it was. I needed something to remind me of the happy times that we had shared. So I quickly gathered a jacket out of the closet in my dark apartment – there hadn't been much light in it since Tanya left – and a book to keep me occupied, then I left the apartment to begin the torture.

And then I saw her.

I had been sitting on the bench in the park, the one that I normally sat at, when suddenly she came bounding around the corner, a work of art.

She was jogging down the path, her arms swinging in front of her gracefully, her ocher brown hair pulled back into a high ponytail, and her dark brown eyes focused on the path in front of her. Her hands were clutching a blue I-pod and she seemed to be singing the words to the foreign song under her breath.

I let out a small gasp when I first saw her, and from then on my breathing, along with my heart, just…stopped…everything just _stopped _like in a movie, when the future lovers see each other and then, bam, they're hopelessly in love with each other. What was that called? Ah, yes, love and first sight.

I mentally willed her to meet my gaze, so I could look deeply into her warm eyes. Finally, when she did meet my gaze, it's like time stopped completely. She stopped jogging and just faced me, both of us just staring at each other.

And finally after what seemed like to short of a time, she sprinted away after giving me a apologetic smile, running much faster then she had before.

I sighed sadly, how could I foolishly believe that it was love at first sight? The possibility of that ever happening was slim, to none. I shook my head, attempting to rid it of the brown haired goddess, but failing miserably.

I decided to leave the park, to dumbstruck to stay there any longer, I had to go to work anyway. I walked dejectedly back to my apartment.

When I got to work, I could see that it was going to be another long day, the coffee shop was practically empty, leaving me with nothing to keep my mind busy, allowing it to wander and drift back to Tanya…and the mystery girl, whose name I didn't know…

"Can I have one Latte please?" I heard someone ask me. I looked up to see who was standing at the counter and was shocked to find a pixie like girl standing there.

She had jet black hair that was spiked in every direction, and was extremely short, though her facial features suggested that she was eighteen or older. I craned my neck downwards some so I could look her in the eye. I couldn't stand when someone was looking at you, and they wouldn't look at your eyes, they'd look anywhere but directly in your eyes.

"Sure coming right up." I said lightly, plastering a fake smile on my face.

I set to work filling up a to-go cup up with her order, barely paying attention to anything anymore.

When I set the cup in front of her, she pulled out her wallet and paid for it, and while she was waiting for me to put it in the cash register, she asked me;

"Say, what's your name?"

"Edward?" I said, but it came out as more of a question, probably because she was the first person that I had talked to today.

"I'm Alice! I was wondering, would you mind to much if I set you up on a date with my best friend, Bella?"

I was quite shocked by her forwardness; she didn't know anything about me! Yet there she was, waiting for my answer. I inwardly sighed and decided against it, that wouldn't be wise, to go out with someone when my head was still filled with Tanya, and of course the mystery woman from this morning. I tried to be polite about it; something about 'Alice' made it to where I didn't want to hurt her feelings, like a little sister.

"I'm sorry, Alice, but I recently broke up with my ex-girlfriend, and I'm not ready to see anyone yet."

"Ah, that's a shame, give me a call if you ever change your mind, I'm sure she'd love to!"

She quickly grabbed a napkin and jotted down her name – Alice Brandon – and her phone number before slipping it back to me.

"See ya later Edward!" She waved over her shoulder before exiting the café.

That was strange. Completely, and undeniably weird. She didn't even know a thing about me, and she was willingly setting me up with her best friend, and giving out her number. For all she knew, I could be a stalker. Oh, well, there's nothing I can do about it.

My shift ended early that day, I got to trudge back to my gloomy apartment and try to make myself feel better. I walked up the flight of stairs (My apartment was on the second floor, so there was no point in taking the elevator) but oddly, when I got to my front door, it was slightly ajar. I immediately set up my guard, preparing to fight someone.

I hesitantly entered the apartment, looking in all directions for the intruder…but I didn't have to look far.

There she was, standing in the middle of the room facing my bookshelf, which held pictures of us that I couldn't bear to take down, it hurt to keep them up there, but it hurt worse to take them down, like they never existed.

She reached over a touched one briefly, letting her fingers slide down the dusty frame to the shelf. A tear slid down her cheek, and I wanted nothing more then to wipe it away, and hold her.

"Edward…" She whispered quietly, I almost couldn't hear her from my position at the doorway, my feet frozen to the ground.

"Tanya…what are you doing here?" I asked quietly, no longer able to look at the provider to my suffering.

"Edward…I-I know that this won't change anything, but I've missed you…and I'm terribly sorry…for…for what I did to you."

"Tanya, why are you doing this to me?" I asked quietly, meeting her gaze for the first time, my voice cracking and tears welling up in my eyes. She couldn't just do this, break my heart and then barge right back into my life again.

"Because, Edward, I can't sleep at night without you there! I can't look at myself anymore without thinking about what I've done to you! I want you back…" She turned completely to face me and started taking steps towards me. "I want what we used to have _back_!"

I fell to my knees, my shoulders curling in on themselves like a shell. How could she say that after all she's done to me? It didn't look like she wanted it when I last saw her a month ago. I voiced my thoughts.

"How could you say that Tanya? After all that you've put me through, you have no _idea_!"

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	4. Chapter 4

**Hope you guys like it!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Handbook**

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Chapter four: Don't give in to you slutty Ex-girlfriend when you clearly like someone else

The Bad Dater's Girlfriend

_Edward Cullen:_

She winced and took the final step towards me, and sunk to her knees also, wrapping her arms around me, and there it was again. The familiar warmth that came with her touch, and then I couldn't say no. When she's hugging me like this, like she's trying desperately to fight my fears away, I can't say no to her.

"Please Edward…please."

Did she even really have to ask? I've always been hers, no matter how much I wish I wasn't.

"Alright, we'll give it a try."

It was amazing how quickly the life returned to the apartment, how quickly everything returned to normal. Like they _should _be.

"Oh, Edward!" She exclaimed happily, tackling me to the ground in her glee. I smiled slightly and hugged her back, glad that this was happening. Now maybe things could go back to the way they used to be, when everything was so simple…

It had been about a month of bliss, and I was completely happy…well…not really… I still couldn't get the mystery girl out of my head. Not matter how hard I tried – and trust me, I tried – I couldn't get to gorgeous girl to vanish from my head, and I tried everything, so I could focus on Tanya alone, but there was something different about this girl, like we belonged together, but I quickly banished those thoughts from my mind, I was with Tanya now; but why was it that every time I thought of the girl, my heart stopped and a wide grin spread across my face?

Why was my love for Tanya fading away slowly? I tried to ignore it as hard as I could, but it was starting to become even more noticeable. Tanya and I fought often, and there was no longer that ache whenever we were apart, and now…I even looked forward to classes starting because my schedule said I had none with Tanya. Was I wrong about this, had it been wrong to choose her yet again, after all that had happened? I seriously doubted my actions.

"Edward?" I heard Tanya ask from the kitchen, shaking me from my thoughts; I looked down at my watch and saw that I had been staring at the same page of my book for the past half hour. I gave up getting any farther, and stood to return the book to the shelf and see what Tanya wanted.

"Yes?" I asked poking my head into the kitchen.

"What do you want to eat tonight?" She asked, her head stuck in the fridge, seeing what there was to eat.

"I don't care," I said innocently, honestly no really hungry.

"What do you mean 'you don't care'?" She snapped, looking at me. "You don't care what you eat?"

"Um, not really?" I said, though it sounded more like a question. "Are you okay?"

"Well you should care! And no, I'm not okay, I'm sick of you not caring!" She sounded really angry, and for no reason, I had no idea where this was coming from.

"What do mean 'not caring'? Of course I care!" I hollered, and honestly, I didn't care if the neighbors got upset, I was offended.

"You haven't even kissed me in a month! That shows me that you don't care!" She hollered back at me, just as loud as I was.

"Did you ever think that I'm not ready for that? That our constant arguing hasn't been helping at all?" I said with a normal tone of voice, attempting to calm myself.

"After a month? You need to get over it, what's done is done, there's nothing that you can do about it."

How could she be so uncaring? She acted so casual with my feelings, like she could trample on them as she pleased, no matter how much it hurt me!

"I'm not hungry…" I mumbled under my breath, escaping from the room in a blind fury. How dare her!

"Edward, get back here!"

I slammed the bedroom door shut, and just sat on the bed, my head in my hands. Had it always been like this? Had we always fought so terribly? I couldn't remember a time where we hadn't been looking into each other's eyes lovingly…but maybe that was just what I dared to remember, maybe things hadn't been so good for us when we were together, and maybe when I left her, all I _wanted _to remember were the good times, so maybe things _had_ always been like this. Maybe things _had…_

Chapter Three: You Can't Steal Someone Else's Boyfriend…It's Just Not Cool.

I had been thinking about him. All. Month. I couldn't get him out of my mind! I even went to the park everyday in the hopes of catching a glimpse of him, but my efforts had failed, I hadn't seen him all week.

Currently sprawled across the couch, eating ice-cream, and watching a _Made For TV_ movie.

Alice, like usual, had left earlier this morning, leaving me to drown out my sorrows in solitude. Naturally I had told her about Mystery Man (As I'd taken to calling him) and she had just snickered and said 'looks like Bella's _finally_ got herself a crush' I, in return, whacked her on the back of the head and huffed at her.

I recited the words to _Titanic_ admiring Leonardo DiCaprio, the movie always made me cry at the end, which was surprising, since movies that were or had a background of a true story always either, A) bored me to tears or B) made me mad.

Tomorrow, classes started, I had pretty basic classes thins year, nothing entirely special except my Creative Writing class. I was an English major.

"_My heart will go on, and on…_"I sang along, this was always my favorite part.

I almost had a heart attack when I felt someone grab my shoulders.

"Ah!" I screamed, and proceeded to fall off the couch, but my confused expression turned to anger when I saw my brother, Emmett, sitting on the couch where I used to be, and his long time girlfriend, Rosalie next to him snickering at me.

"What's up baby sister?" Emmett asked, grinning like an idiot.

I stood up and punched him in the arm, "Thanks a lot Emmett…" I pushed him over on the couch slightly, so I had enough room to sit.

"_Titanic_…again Bella?" Rosalie asked when she saw the actors on the screen.

"What? It's a classic!" I quickly defended.

Rosalie and I had a long time argument about which was better, _Titanic_ or _Pearl Harbor_, and she always made fun of me whenever she saw me watching it _again._

"Oh, and to top it all off, she broke out the Rocky Road!" Emmett yelled in mock seriousness, "We better take her to a dating expert, and fast, I can almost smell the future cat lady brewing!

I smacked him on the back of his head, grinning.

"I got the Xbox fixed…" I said suggestively, nodding my head in the corner, where the Xbox sat, good as new.

"Oh, right on!" Emmett shouted, jumping up to plug it in. He was always ready to play a video game.

Rosalie shook her head at us and picked up the empty bowl of ice cream, and made her way into the kitchen.

"I'm making cookies!" She shouted from the other room, I could hear her opening the fridge; she must've found the cookie dough.

"Sweet!" Emmett and I shouted at the same time. Cookies and video games? In the same day? Now _that_ was a treat!

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	5. Chapter 5

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Handbook**

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Chapter Five: Surrounding yourself with family helps you keep your mind off of your crush/bad dates...or not...

Bad Dater's Handbook

_Bella Swan:_

We immediately launched into a full fledged brawl, only interrupted once when Rosalie entered the room, a plate full of hot, chocolate chip cookies in her hands.

We both thanked her graciously, and she sat next to Emmett, watching the game, and occasionally snatching a cookie from the quickly empting plate. Finally after about an hour of gaming, it was over, though Emmett had won, I had been just a couple of points away from victory myself. Rosalie stood to take the now empty plate into the kitchen.

"Good game little sister," Emmett said, "And thank you Rosalie, again for the cookies."

"Dido!" I shouted after him

Rosalie reappeared and nodded her head, and looked at the clock.

"We better get going, you have classes tomorrow, and it's getting late." She began walking to the door, and I stood along with Emmett.

"Bye Bella, see you again on Scrabble night!" Emmett waved as he walked out the door.

I sighed once they were gone, and cleaned up the video game mess, and made sure the door was locked, before getting ready for bed. I showered and hopped into a pair of sweats and a tank top and then got into bed after turning out the lights.

My last thought of the night was of Mystery Man, and how I didn't want him to be a mystery anymore, and with one last weary sigh, I rolled over a drifted off to sleep.

I woke up groggily the next morning to Alice shaking me awake, already showered and ready to go.

"C'mon sleepy head, we have classes today!"

Once again, I questioned my best friend's sanity. How does she _do_ that in the mornings? And she swears that she doesn't drink coffee. I grumbled and sat up, stretching my arms high above my head and motioning for Alice to leave so I could shower and change.

I hopped into the shower, rinsing the sleep from my eyes, and emerging more awake then I had been previously. I blow dried my thick brown hair, and dressed in a pleated black skirt, and a pale pink blouse, since it was actually very hot for once in Portland, but I made sure I had a jacket just in case.

"I made waffles!" Alice sang from the kitchen. I had been right, after about two more weeks, Alice had dropped muffins like they were out of style – and knowing Alice, they probably were – and had moved on the waffles, which she ate constantly.

I followed the scent wafting down the hallway, and saw Alice in an apron, in front of a waffle iron that Jasper had gotten for her, turning the machine and taking out two blueberry waffles.

"Sit down!" Alice exclaimed, reaching up to grab a plate to put the waffles on, and setting three on a plate for me, already smothered in syrup.

She sat down herself after she had cleaned out and put away the waffle iron, smiling at me from across the table, I just grimaced and muttered sleepily;

"Thanks Alice…"

"Your welcome and I know that means a lot, coming from you at eight thirty in the _morning_, usually, you're not even audible this early." She giggled at my livid expression.

"I am too audible this early…just not loud…like you!" I said sticking my tongue out at her childishly.

"Love you too!" She giggled, covering her mouth, since she still had food in it.

We quickly scarfed down the food, and dropped them off in the sink, I would wash them later since my classes ended earlier than Alice's even though they started at the same time.

When I finally got to the classroom, I collapsed in a desk, the first empty one that I could find, and released my crumpled schedule from my death grip. I leaned back and let out a long breath to calm myself. I had rushed to the room, thinking that I would be late, but as it turns out, of course, my watch was slow, and so there were actually few people in the room already.

I turned in my desk to see who was sitting around me and was shocked to meet a pair of jewel colored eyes.

His tousled bronze hair looked just as it did when I had last seen him, hopelessly messy, and his emerald green eyes were just as scorching. But this time, he was wearing a dark grey hoodie, and a pair of jeans.

I could already feel the drool coming at the sight of him. I leaned over the empty desk directly behind me so I was closer to him; he was sitting one desk behind me.

Honestly, in that moment, I didn't care if he _had_ a girlfriend, I just wanted to go on a date with him. Whoa, I think that's the _first_ time I've actually said that I _wanted_ to go on a date…freaky.

He looked at me and leaned over also, so our elbows were almost touching.

"I'm Edward." He said grinning widely.

I blushed and replied, "I'm Bella…" His eyes widened for a minute before he asked.

"Do you know an Alice Brandon?"

I nodded my head hesitantly; why was he talking about Alice? Surprisingly, he started laughing and then turned and threw up one of those heart stopping crooked grins of his and turned to me again.

"Do you know her?" I asked stupidly.

"Not very well, we've talked once, and all she could talk about was you." He chuckled lowly, the sound almost as enticing as his smile.

When I got home, I was giving Alice a hug. He actually knew my name! I felt kind of stupid, and like a giggly school girl who just talked to the captain of the football team, but honestly I didn't care. Just call me a cheerleader.

"I remember seeing you at the park about a month ago." He mused and I laughed shakily.

_Yeah, I remember, I've been thinking about it every day for the past month…ha, ha, funny…_

"Yeah I remember I saw you on my jog." I said trying to play it cool. He smiled and nodded, and before I could say anything else, the teacher came in; he was a stout man and was very short, he rubbed his hand on the back of his balding head and laughed.

"Sorry for being late on the first day class…" Some of us snickered, but I wasn't paying attention well enough to figure out whom, I was already a million years away, thinking about the girlfriend that I was certain that he had.

There was no way I could get him now, if he had a girlfriend, it was probably some manicured, plastic girl that belonged on the cover of Vanity Fair.

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**Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry It's been so long, my PC crashed...**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Handbook**

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Chapter Six: There's a difference between a tassle and a fight...

It was amazing how insanely jealous I was.

"Mrs. Swan!" I heard the teacher shout, shaking me from my envious thoughts.

When I got home, I was shocked to find a sticky note on the fridge, Emmett's handwriting scrawled across it. Oh _real_ nice of you Emmett, just barge into my apartment whenever you feel like it… I mentally grumbled. I snatched the note from the fridge, it was probably something stupid like 'Emmett was here' anyways.

_Bella,_

_No this isn't something stupid, it's actually important;_

_Don't forget Scrabble nights tonight, be there or be square_

_Oh! And bring some chips; it's your turn missy, so don't skip out!_

_-- Emmett =)_

Well dang! It actually _was_ something important, seeing as I completely forgotten about Scrabble night.

Scrabble night was a tradition that Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, and I had been doing since we had all met. Every Monday night, to get over Monday blues, we crashed at Emmett and Rosalie's apartment where we all played Scrabble until we all got sick of it and quit. I hoped Alice remembered and wasn't going over to Jasper's…

I shook my head to clear it, and decided that I might as well get ready to go, so I jumped in the shower, and dressed in an old football jersey of Emmett's when he was in high school, and a pair of worn jeans, tying my hair up into two low pigtails.

When I glanced at the clock again, I saw that I had an hour left, so I walked to the kitchen and grabbed two bags of Lays, and a jar of chip dip, and stuffed them in a grocery bag to carry them in.

I went through the apartment, and made sure that I had turned everything off, before grabbing my keys and exiting through the door, locking it tightly behind me. Then I set off on my trek to Emmett's apartment. Since Portland was a larger city than Forks, everything was closer together, so I didn't have a car. Luckily, the walk to Emmett's was only two blocks away.

I burst through the front door when I got there, shouting with false sweetness;

"Honey I'm home!"

I heard Alice snickering in the living room, meaning that she hadn't forgotten thank fully, and I trudged into the room, only to stop dead in my tracks.

No. Freaking. Way. There was _no_ way that Edward Cullen had magically appeared in Emmett's apartment. On Scrabble night. There was no way I was _that _lucky.

But none-the-less, there he sat on the floor in front of the coffee table, his hair in its usual disarray, and his eyes as scorching as ever.

"So we meet again." He said lightly, smiling at me, successfully stopping my breathing. Deep breaths Bella…deep breaths…

"Hi…again" I said breathlessly, trying to put on my best smile.

"You know each other already?" I heard Emmett ask, he was wedged in between Rosalie and Edward.

"Uh, yeah, we have a couple classes together…how do you know him?" I asked confused.

"Oh, last year before I graduated, we were in the same fraternity together." He answered casually.

_You mean to tell me, that I've been trying everything for the past month to see this guy again...and the whole time, he had been right under my nose!?_

I smiled, even though my eye was twitching slightly, and I sank to the floor next to Alice and started flipping over the tiny squares. I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see Emmett snatching some letters out of the box when he thought that no one was looking, and stuffing them in his pockets.

I giggled silently, and Edward glanced up to see what was up, and I nodded over to Emmett. He glanced at Emmett, and chuckled quietly along with me.

"Game on!" Emmett shouted out in glee when he was finished stuffing letters in his pockets.

We all chuckled at his face, and then it was serious business. Tonight's jackpot was forty bucks, and that's just the right amount that I needed to get the pumps that I saw in the mall the other day…

It was now down to Alice, Edward and me. I started panicking ever since Edward managed _macabre_. I didn't even know what a _macabre_ was!

"I'm out!" Alice shouted, returning all of her chips back to the box regretfully. Those shoes were _so_ mine!

At least, that's what I thought until Edward laid down _fantasia_. I quickly glanced nervously at my chips, and I had no other choice but to lay down _yo_.

"Nope, doesn't count." Edward said, sure of himself. That ticked me off! He was _so_ sure of himself.

"Does too, and you know it!"

"'Yo' isn't even a _word_." He said calmly back at me. I growled under my breath at him.

"Bella…did you just growl?" I thought I heard Emmett say from somewhere in the room, but I was too far gone in my rage.

"Is too! 'Yo' could mean 'hello' thank you very much!"

"It's slang, doesn't count." He said flicking my Y back in front of me.

"Slang counts!" I shouted, snatching my Y and placing it back on the board.

"No it doesn't, why can't you admit it?"

"Yes it does, why can't you give me my points!?"

I saw his lips twitching, fighting to keep his grimace present on his face, and his eyes weren't angry at all. He was doing this on purpose!

"You're doing this on purpose!" I shouted in disbelief.

"And if I am?" He questioned loudly, raising an eyebrow.

"Then why won't you give me my points?" I questioned. Seriously, that just wasn't cool!

"Maybe because I'm out of letters, like I know you are, so maybe I was hoping that you'd give up and not be so stubborn, so I could win!" He shouted half heartedly, his false anger failing, and a large grin finally spreading across his face.

"Well then, I guess it's a truce. Split it even?" I asked I was honestly getting tired of arguing over nothing anyway.

Edward and I shook hands, and we each got twenty dollars for a prize. It wasn't forty, but hey, that's alright with me, and those shoes weren't going anywhere.

"Is it safe to speak?" I heard Jasper ask hesitantly, running a hand through his light blonde hair.

"I thought we'd just broken into world war three!" Shouted an exasperated Rosalie, sick of all the fighting.

All of them got up and headed into the kitchen, claiming that they were 'letting the bombs finish flying'. Jerks.

I glanced at Edward from under my eyelashes, hesitantly lifting my head up.

"Sorry for all the arguing. I'm just really stubborn sometimes."

I hoped that he forgave me, I really _was_ sorry that I yelled at his like that, over nothing. But none-the-less, he smiled at me apologetically.

"I'd like to apologize also; I shouldn't have kept that going for no reason."

"No prob." I said offhandedly.

"Okay everyone, it looks like its safe…" Emmett said ominously, poking his head in the room, and emerging when he saw that we had made up completely.

I looked at my watch and almost kneeled over when I saw how late it was.

"Holy cow! I got to go guys, I have classes and I need to go to sleep early!"

I jumped up from the floor, and started heading to the door, hollering a goodbye over my shoulder, a smile on my face after I saw Edward wave and mouth, 'bye' back to me…


	7. Chapter 7

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**A/N (Please read) :: Okay...so here's the thing...writer's block has taken me by storm --as It seems to do alot of lately-- and I need some help with some Ideas to keep the Handbook alive...so this time, in your review, could you leave me some Ideas and hints? Just some stuff that you want to either change or make happen in this story, I appreciate all critizism and help!**

**And I know that it's unbearably short, I guess it's more inspiration to give me ideas!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Handbook**

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Chapter Four: I Can't Call You Without Your Number

I grinned as I stepped through the front door of my apartment, thinking about Bella, whose name I now knew, I added gleefully. However, my smile faded quickly when I saw Tanya sitting at the kitchen table in front of a plate of food, staring straight ahead.

"Where were you?" She asked quietly, I grimaced at her turned back.

"I was at my friend, Emmett's house." I answered back hesitantly unsure as to what was going on.

"Why didn't you tell me where you were going!?" she suddenly screamed, jumping from the chair, knocking it over.

I was sure that a look of severe confusion spread across my face, and I answered her question calmly.

"I _did_ tell you." I walked farther in the house, eager to get into bed, I was mentally and physically exhausted, and I was in no mood to argue with Tanya…_again_.

"No you didn't! You were out cheating on me weren't you?!"

That was another thing, Tanya had been acting all _protective_ over me, accusing me of cheating on her many times a day. I was getting sick of it.

"No, I wasn't, now I'm ending this conversation, goodnight." I slammed the office door in her face and locked it. I had become used to sleeping in a different room then her lately, unable to find peace in the same room. I had to end this…soon…I couldn't take much more!

I briefly wondered what Bella was doing as I slowly fell asleep...

But sleep didn't hold for long, for after a very quiet moments, a loud crash resounded through out the still room...


	8. PLEASE READ, IMPORTANT!

I hate to post an author's note just to ask for a favor, but I really need one from all of you. My friend Bronze, one of the sweetest people I've met on this site and a fellow FF author, lost her friend Daddy's Little Cannibal recently. Today, someone opened a Fanfiction account solely to post an awful message on EVERY story Bronze and DLC wrote. I'm including the link to that person's profile page as well as what they put in their review.

All I ask of you is that you please write to reportabuse at fanfiction dot com and ask for this person's account and all related reviews to be deleted. You have to send it from your email program. It's not within fanfiction.

This is not something any fanfiction writer or reader should be subjected to. We are in mourning for a fellow FF writer/reader and no one should be allowed to post something this hurtful and disgusting.

(change all the "dot" listed below to a period to reach the address in your search bar)

_Review posted by __**Don't Flip My Bitch Switch ID # **__1932508 http:// www dot fanfiction dot net/u/1932508/Dont_Flip_My_Bitch_Switch_

_Rejoyce! The wicked bitch is dead._

_How rich! Oh the Irony hahahaha. All those flames about how she should just drop dead and it actually happens. IT ACTUALLY HAPPENS! I can honestly say that May 08, 2009 is the best day of my life. The day this mediocre shit that Stephanie Bell has been posting for years has finally COME TO AN END. Everyone says the best moment of the girls' life is her prom, or her wedding, or her first crib midget. But I STRONGLY disagree. The best moment of THIS girl's life was the moment STEPHANIE BELL WAS HIT BY THAT DRUNK DRIVER AND DIED! I HOPE YOU AND YOUR FUCKTACULAR IDEAS BURN IN THE FIREY PITS OF HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY!_

_P.S. Keep the responses coming. I LOVE THEM_

Please send an email to **reportabuse at fanfiction dot com** and ask for this account and these horrible reviews to be deleted. Even if you don't know Bronze or DLC, please do it anyway. Please think of how her family will feel when they see these horrible messages. They knew their daughter wrote FF and loved to write on this site. They will see it. Think if this was your family or your friend.

We humbly beg for your help with this matter.

My-Bella, Hellopants, & Lizbre

**********

**Please report her, all of you guys, do us all a favor and get her off of this site!**


	9. SHE'S GONE!

**She's gone!! Thank you to everyone who contributed to removing this harmful author from the universe! I can't believe that all of you acted so quickly to make this website even more enjoyable to everyone! **

**I am sure that DLC appreciates us for our effort to protect her honor and her work. So thanks guys!**

**I'd like to write something special for all of you. So suggest something in a review and I'll create a poll for you guys to vote on what you'd like to have a story about. It can be a added chapter to an existing story, or I'll write a separate one-shot all together. So send in those options and I'll be sure to write something down for you guys!**

**Thank you everyone who reported Don't Flip My Bitch Switch to get her away from us!**

**I'll also address something else in this note…**

**The reason why I have not been updating a lot of my stories is because I am currently working on writing my first novel. So I'm sorry if the updates are coming in a little slower then usual (aka: Morbidly slow!)**

**Thanks again, bye guys!**

**--Sumomo14**


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